Indoctrination...

I've noticed lately that people take on a lot of qualities of their parents. As much as you want to be different and say that you will do this and that another way, you still eventually see things your parents way. 

I often think of this when I'm angry with my wife. I get defensive when criticized and especially from my wife. If it is something that I perceive as small and insignificant, I quickly question why she is bothering me about it. Usually I have to think about the way her mother is so critical of her and realize that I got off easy. 

Speaking of being defensive, I have noticed that when I snap back at my wife it reminds me of the way that my pops reacts to mama. Sure, they have been married a long time and this type of thing comes from dealing with the same person for so many years, or is it behavior passed down from his father?

When the wifey and I argue and consult our respective parent folk, they tend to agree or have the same viewpoint of their own child. Is this due to their views being forced on us? Or rather have we just learned these views from observing them for so long? 

Is this indoctrination? I'm tired of pouring of these fucking words. Reading definitions. Figuring out their damn meanings. Interpreting them for others, for myself. Do I know what the fuck I'm talking about? Sure I spit a good game, but I'm not sure I even believe half of what I say. 

Like agnostic, indoctrination is another word that I didn't know until I heard people throwing it around. Lately, I've thought more and more about it. Have I been indoctrinated? And I don't just mean like above. Has there been deep rooted beliefs that I still can't shake, even as I become more and more out about being an atheist.

I'm shocked how many times I have been asked, 'why do you live the life of a Christian?' Should I even get into how self-righteous this question is. Can someone finally explain why Christians think everything started with their religion. 

This loaded question is often specific about why I got married and stay married. Why I keep my vows and such. Not too surprising but apparently they think marriage starts and ends with Christianity. They want to know why I'm a good person, why I give to charities, why I'm honest and caring. Lately I have given up on explaining that their religion does not have a lock on these qualities, but rather just tell them 'I'm indoctrinated. I'm brainwashed and that no matter how hard I try to be an atheist, I'm stuck doing good deeds like a Christian man...'