Indoctrination...

I've noticed lately that people take on a lot of qualities of their parents. As much as you want to be different and say that you will do this and that another way, you still eventually see things your parents way. 

I often think of this when I'm angry with my wife. I get defensive when criticized and especially from my wife. If it is something that I perceive as small and insignificant, I quickly question why she is bothering me about it. Usually I have to think about the way her mother is so critical of her and realize that I got off easy. 

Speaking of being defensive, I have noticed that when I snap back at my wife it reminds me of the way that my pops reacts to mama. Sure, they have been married a long time and this type of thing comes from dealing with the same person for so many years, or is it behavior passed down from his father?

When the wifey and I argue and consult our respective parent folk, they tend to agree or have the same viewpoint of their own child. Is this due to their views being forced on us? Or rather have we just learned these views from observing them for so long? 

Is this indoctrination? I'm tired of pouring of these fucking words. Reading definitions. Figuring out their damn meanings. Interpreting them for others, for myself. Do I know what the fuck I'm talking about? Sure I spit a good game, but I'm not sure I even believe half of what I say. 

Like agnostic, indoctrination is another word that I didn't know until I heard people throwing it around. Lately, I've thought more and more about it. Have I been indoctrinated? And I don't just mean like above. Has there been deep rooted beliefs that I still can't shake, even as I become more and more out about being an atheist.

I'm shocked how many times I have been asked, 'why do you live the life of a Christian?' Should I even get into how self-righteous this question is. Can someone finally explain why Christians think everything started with their religion. 

This loaded question is often specific about why I got married and stay married. Why I keep my vows and such. Not too surprising but apparently they think marriage starts and ends with Christianity. They want to know why I'm a good person, why I give to charities, why I'm honest and caring. Lately I have given up on explaining that their religion does not have a lock on these qualities, but rather just tell them 'I'm indoctrinated. I'm brainwashed and that no matter how hard I try to be an atheist, I'm stuck doing good deeds like a Christian man...'

Adam and Eve and shit...

Let's play what if again. What if God does exist? What if he accidentally created the universe? What if one day he was talking with his own creator about needing something more out of his existence? What if he was just throwing around some ideas? First, he just had thoughts and things appeared. A bit startled he was like 'Let there be light...' Then once he could see earth and the heavens he was all, 'shit, what did I do?' So that night he had to think over what happened and where he was going to go from there. 

I'm sure one of the thoughts would be, 'hmmm, how do I make the earth seem billions of years old. Oh, I'll need to add stars light years away and fossils deep in the earth at some point.' I wonder if a god would sleep during these nights, or just skip to the good parts. 

Moving right along here, day 2 wahoo! I guess God first made everything water, that's why he had to put a vault in there and separate the sky (which I guess looks like water, and given the time the bible was written they knew no better). 

Day 3, he made land and plants and blah blah blah... Dear God, please don't forget the multitude of animals needed for them to reproduce!

I think I'm a bit confused about day 4, he made more light, but this light was on earth. If there already were days there was already light on earth... Again, did the authors just not know any better? Also, the lesser light is still the sun, but let me not nitpick here. Wow, this light was so we know sacred days, basically the ones to praise him. Talk about an ego...

5th day and things are finally getting exciting. Did animals eat each other? Were they all herbivores at this point? I mean there was no death before sin, right? Or was this only for humans? If they don't die but multiply the earth would have been jam packed to the rim. 

God had a busy 6th day. Maybe we should all work harder on Saturdays... On this day God had the brilliant idea to create man. The infallible mankind. Are we not machines, our minds computers? If we screw up is it not the engineers poor programming. Do you destroy all computers because one fucks up? Also, why does God say 'in our image?' Sounds like there was more than one God! Someone didn't proofread their ancient texts!!

Day 7, hang over...

Now on to Adam. Let's do some Math!! Just kidding, but I would like to figure out some numbers about the so called first days. As I understand he was the first human being ever to walk the earth. What did he really understand at this point? Did God plant thoughts and understanding at the time of his creation? Was Adam created as a baby that grew up and learned from God's direct teaching? Or was it like I presented above where God was just slapping shit together? And now he has some jacked up species that is different from all the rest. Imagine being the first man ever. You were created without going through Maslow's hierarchy of needs. You didn't learn from your mother and father, or anyone for that matter, how to respect others or follow rules. You didn't receive some cryptic bible that you don't understand anyway. You haven't had generations ahead of you to learn from. You don't know stranger danger. You don't know that snakes aren't supposed to talk. Think about God demanding that the apple not be eaten. We've got Adam and Eve here, both in the same boat. Basically they are babies in adult bodies. Neither knows what the fuck is going on. Cool a talking snake. Cool a god like being that tells me what to do and I don't even have to pray and pretend like I am getting an answer. I picture Eve as the defiant daughter that is testing boundaries by eating the forbidden fruit. I mean we all know telling a child no makes them not do it... Adam I picture as a pubescent teen that doesn't understand his feelings for Eve, since his deadbeat father came into his life as an adult and he was never taught the birds and the bees. Sure Adam is going to do whatever she wants to do, he's a pussy whipped mother fucker. 

Really think about this. Whether you are a word for word bible believer or the good ol' 'it's a metaphor' kind, both ways this occurs at some point. If you are an evolution backer and believer there was still a first generation of mankind in there. How would you know that God is the good guy and Satan the evil one? You wouldn't. Hell, you can't even tell from the bible...

May the force be with you and shit...

Before I get into my usual eloquent rant tonight, I just wanted to point out the title and how my birthday just happens to fall on the release this year. I have been a Star Wars fan since before I remember. I would pretend to be sick in grade school so my mom would let me stay home and I'd watch almost the entire trilogy each time (lying, Return was my favorite and most watched!) I collected cards, dolls, figures, micro machines, lightsabers, and even a Wicket plush toy! A nerd before nerds were internet cool. So... yay!

A few months ago I went to church with the family. I believe it was Easter. I've discussed my atheism a tidbit, but I think my ma usually thinks that I am "searching" and some other mumbo jumbo. Well, my wife (who is christian) pointed out to my mom at this church service that I am pretty deep into this "evil" atheism stuff. At that point my mom and dad wanted to know how I thought the universe and this and that came to be. My mom also asked me to "make my own dirt." At some point I discussed the multi-universe and how it could be possible some beings so advanced in science accidentally created our universe. The triggered a scoff from my father and then a "you've been watching Star Wars too much."

I'm an easy going guy and enjoy a good debate, especially when I win. I just was a little uneasy with that being sprung on me like that. I feel like I should care less about it being in a church, but if many others around heard the convo that might have gotten a little rough. The church was already suffering controversy from a long time pastor that even I looked up to at one point or another. I looked around expecting a "they let damn atheist in here now. This church is going to hell!"

Really I have gotten a mixed bag of responses from my atheism. Parents like I said think I'm just lost and will come back,  and point out I'm an agnostic. My co-workers have debated me for years, they think I'm a good guy and will come around eventually, and that I'm an agnostic. My wife understands I think agnostic is a dumb word and thinks I'm evil... Hey, if the devil and Jesus haven't killed each other after a couple thousand years, I think we'll be just fine!

I've got theories and like to come up with different goofy scenarios for our existence, with or without god(s). One I talk about a lot is the bible being a historic novel. Written by potentially one or many others, much like with movies today where there is the same characters throughout but created by different people, much like Star Wars, Star Trek, Bond, and Harry Potter. It seems like people think that at some point in history we started to create out of the desire just to entertain, but before that point everything was truth based. I am willing to admit that Jesus could be an actual real person. He could have been at a lot of the locations with the people mentioned. He could have done many of the actions described and been just like what was written, but people lie, even in those days.  You have a book about sin and the horrible things that people do, well except for the people that wrote it. They had no agenda. They only told the truth. They weren't creative people. They only wrote non-fiction and factual information. They didn't write poetically with metaphors and say things but mean other things. They aren't hard to understand. They were as clear on all they were trying to say.

The bible is a collection of stories written long ago to entertain. Someone turned them into truth and began to judge and control people with them. What better way to keep people in line than to convince them that some being is watching them and won't just say "tsk, tsk," he fucking throws you in a lake of fire for all eternity and watches you burn. "Jimmy don't touch the cookies, and remember God is watching and will fuck you up if you don't listen." Little Jimmy has imagination and does not want to get fucked up...

Agnostic Apologetics and shit!

One hell of a shitty word. It's lost its meaning to me somewhere along the line. You know when you repeat a word over and over and then it just sounds weird. Agnostic sounds weird to me. I only know the word from debates.

Religious people love to throw the word around. I'm not sure why, maybe they feel better about you. Even though it is not their god at least you believe in one. Somehow not believing in a god is worse then believing in a god that wants to reboot every few thousand years by killing off his creations. I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it, am I right...

Maybe it makes them feel better about themselves. Misery loves company, although they will swear they love serving some egotistical bastard their whole life. Is Jesus a bastard? That one is too hard to figure out, but God is still one since he has no father. Did God create himself? Is he his own father? I mean other than he being the father of Jesus, himself. Jesus, I'm confused. It sure is awesome that the bible got society ready for Jerry Springer. Well done, God...

It seems I went on a tangent there a bit. Oh, yes, agnostic. I had to read the title again. During debates, I admit that I believe that there is a minor possibility that I could be wrong about there not being any god. Making a 100% claim in my eyes would be such a mistake at this point. While I believe there is zero evidence of a god existing, that does not mean that there cannot be some unimaginable god that man has not lied into existence. There are many religions and many types of gods among them, but if a god exists man does not know this god...

So, I am called an agnostic even though I claim atheism. Called something enough I will first deny the horrid accusations and then eventually look it up. I understand atheism to be the claim that one does not believe a god exists and agnostic to be the claim that one cannot know whether or not there is a god...

I believe that everyone is agnostic. No one is 100% sure that god exists or doesn't. Any little second guess of what you think you believe means you're agnostic. Hey religious people out there, you're agnostic! How does that make you feel?!

Agnostic is a copout. All humans are agnostics but not all agnostics are humans! Does the word agnostic make any more sense to you?

First post and shit...

If you know me in the real world or online, then you already know that I have a boring blog that has been untouched for over a year at jonbze.com. Let's hope this one doesn't go to "hell" as well. Yup, be prepared for puns and other really bad jokes, but mostly at the expense of the religious so it's all good.

Now, if you would, imagine a world without gods. Oh, wait, that's what we live in. Let me start again. Imagine a world with a god, OK, specifically with God. Ah... the Abrahamic one to be more specific. The Christian one, I guess or whatever.

So remember, we are pretending he is real, along with the other stuff in that great book of his. The devil (are you supposed to capitalize devil?), his henchmen and God's henchmen all exist in this realm of imagination! I hear that they are battling, like right now, for souls and stuff. Like you can't tell it's going on, but people swear it is happening right this second. If I close my eyes real tight to the point of hurting myself I can see a female goblin fighting cherubs and a witch fighting an archangel. This pics serve as reference to whatever the hell I'm talking about. Click the pics for interesting b.s. on the matter.

OK, so we have magical things flying about us pictured in our heads right? Now imagine this battle plays out. Either God is having fun messing with the demons and the devil, or he is not capable of stopping this battle. Think about God as not being all powerful, all knowing, infinite and all everything or another. He obviously is not or is, the good book is kind of confusing about stuff like this. So, humor me on this, let's say this battle plays out and God loses. The devil and his minions take over heaven. First off, is that really some place you still want to go? Now, I would imagine that the devil is less compassionate (more compassionate based on your interpretation of the Bible). Being less (more) compassionate the devil kills God. Would you even know? What if you think you are praying to God in heaven and someone else actually has taken his spot? 

Alright, I know none of this is possible. I mean cherubs fighting, that would never happen, but then again with God anything is possible, thus this fiction I just wrote is definitely possible!